


Thou Shalt Not Steal

by TiaLewise



Series: Ineffable Brood Series [4]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel/Demon Hybrids, Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Gen, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, Lucina Grace Antonia Fell, Meddling Kids, Mischief, Parent-Child Relationship, Parents Aziraphale and Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-18 00:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20630291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiaLewise/pseuds/TiaLewise
Summary: Nothing says "welcome to adolescence, kid" like a metric fuckton of paperwork.Or, "why can't I watch Quantum Leap in peace."





	Thou Shalt Not Steal

A white file, stamped with golden wings, slammed down onto the coffee table, sending a small puff of dust into the air.

"Do you know what this is, young lady?" 

Lucina slowly reached for the television remote and muted the flatscreen, leaving Sam and Al to gallivant around spacetime in silence. Her dad looked  _ pissed,  _ and it was  _ not _ a look she was used to seeing, not in the backroom of the bookstore, where he was always content. 

"Um...some paperwork?" she chanced.

"Yes. Paperwork," confirmed Aziraphale, "concerning you. And do you know  _ why  _ this paperwork, concerning you, is currently in my possession?"

She knew, but she fidgeted and looked away, lips pressed tightly together, wanting to laugh and yet knowing which of her parents was the most dangerous. It sure wasn't Crowley. 

"Lucina. What did you steal from Head Office?"

A giggle caught in her chest, shoulders shaking.

"Lucina!"

That did it; she burst out laughing. 

"I'm s-sorry!" she cackled, wiping her eyes. "I couldn't help it! They looked so  _ fun!  _ All those angels riding around like - like - " Lucina dissolved into helpless fits, much to Aziraphale's resigned displeasure. She collapsed sideways on the sofa, breathless with mirth. 

Aziraphale sighed, clasped his hands behind his back, and waited for her to calm down. Eyes to the ceiling, he looked as though he might be offering a prayer to the Almighty to give him strength - or perhaps not, if they'd ended up in Heaven's bad books again.

Lucina, on her last trip Upstairs, had come back with a hoverboard. More specifically, a Virtue's hoverboard, pilfered from them as they droned on about  _ the greater good  _ with the angel on the Reception desk. Well, they weren't using it, and Lucina liked to remind Upstairs that she had, ahem,  _ Lower  _ roots as well, so the opportunity to cause a little mischief presented itself just the way she wanted it to. Currently the hoverboard was hidden under her bed, away from prying celestial eyes, but rumour had it that Aziraphale had many, many more eyes than she gave him credit for, and she'd concealed her prize with a minor miracle in the hope that it would go unnoticed.

It had not gone unnoticed. Hence, the paperwork now sitting on the coffee table in all its glittering glory.

"I'll give it back, I swear," Lucina exclaimed. "I just wanted to play with it for a while."

After a moment, Aziraphale brought his eyes back to the ground. He sidestepped around the coffee table to sit on the sofa beside Lucina, primly crossing his ankles. "Oh, my wayward little one," he murmured, and she wrinkled her nose at that, she was  _ thirteen,  _ not three, "I'm not angry at you. Not even disappointed, if I'm honest, given the eclectic mix that is your parentage…"

Lucina frowned. "So what's the issue?"

"The issue, dear girl, is that every time Head Office send me paperwork to fill out, they positively  _ bloat  _ it with filler! Just to waste my time! And this is no exception. In fact…" He picked up the file and began to leaf through it with an exasperated expression, "it seems they have taken it upon themselves to document  _ every single little mishap  _ you've caused them over the years. How you haven't given Gabriel a heart attack by now is beyond me."

"Gabriel doesn't have a heart," snorted Lucina.

"You're lucky the Almighty likes you, or you might have ended up with two demons for parents."

Lucina shrugged at that. "Downstairs is cooler anyway. Bee let me feed the hellhounds last week."

'I do hope you washed your hands afterwards," Aziraphale muttered, still flipping through the file.

"Nope," she said proudly.

"Sometimes I wonder who has had the stronger influence on you - actually, no, don't answer that." Lucina glanced down at her ensemble of black, black, and more black, and grinned. At least  _ some  _ of it was tartan.

"D'you...want me to help with the paperwork, dad?" she asked meekly.

Aziraphale looked up at her, eyebrows raised. "Well, it would certainly save us some time."

"And I'll take the hoverboard straight back Upstairs when we're done." Leaning forward, Lucina plucked the file deftly from Aziraphale's hands. "Oh, but you need to make us some cocoa before we start!"

For the first time since entering the room, Aziraphale smiled, the warm, beaming dazzle that Lucina adored about her plump, fussy father.

"That sounds like a perfectly acceptable compromise, petal."

And upstairs - not Upstairs - a certain curious demon slithered under Lucina's bed and prodded his snout against the two-wheeled object hidden behind an abysmal attempt at a miracle.

_ Oh, I am ssso trying this out. _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you like, come yell at me on Tumblr @tia-lewise! I'm always up for a chat.
> 
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